Friday, February 24, 2006

Morning Edition - 2/24/06

Rape; The Real Deal
With so many other crimes and issues reported among our young folks today, rape is not one that is given the importance it was given in the past. Unfortunately, statistics are showing us the disastrous results of ignoring a growing problem. It is estimated that every five minutes in the U.S. a female is raped. Moreover, only 16 out of 100 females will report a forcible rape to police. If these stats don’t seem to hit home for you, then maybe you should consider that the highest group of females in danger of being raped are single urban black females. Statistics show that one in eight females will be forcibly raped before reaching adulthood. Boys fair slightly better – if there is such a thing – one male is reportedly raped for every 12 females raped.

Where There’s Smoke
Star Jones Reynolds, 43, co-anchor on hit ABC show, The View, is reportedly suffering marital woes just 15 months into her marriage. Apparently the rumors surrounding Al Reynolds, Star’s husband, are taking a bitter toll on their marriage. Al has been rumored to be gay, even long before they were married. Although Star has always alleged that her marriage is real and there are no secrets, insiders now say that the couple is being spotted around town having loud arguments surrounding Al’s late-night and odd hour hanging out with his male pals. Al, who is a banker, allegedly has been spending days away from home for work, but Star reportedly says he’s living like a king and working less now that he’s married to her. During a recent interview in NY Star was asked about her marriage. She simply said, “It’s not all hearts and flowers and running toward each other in slow motion.” Indeed….

Madea’s Back
Madea’s Family Reunion, opens in theaters today in limited release. The comedic cross-dressing Tyler Perry revamps his favorite character and our hysterical chitlin-circuitesque broad who is in control and as un-PC as any older woman can be. This new Madea installment finds the grouch-granny planning her family reunion while a judge orders her to care for a spirited and troublesome runaway. As is sometimes the case with black films, Madea isn’t always understood by wide audiences, but for those of us that grew up in minority households, she’s an exaggerated memory of a boisterous mom or grandma. The film is rated PG-13 and shows corporal punishment as something to consider and revere. As many of us that grew up at a time when spanking was the norm can attest, the comedy is funny if not ironic.

On Blast
Spare the rod; spoil the child. Spanking is now considered child abuse by many, but some argue that when spanking was the norm, youngsters weren’t as disrespectful, destructive or corrupt. Do you believe spanking (corporal punishment) is child abuse? Should parents who choose to use spanking as a form of punishment have their children removed from the home? Is corporal punishment a family issue that the government should stay out of? When (if at all) does spanking constitute child abuse? Finally, what does spanking really teach your children?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

21 comments:

Winnie said...

Good morning, Fam!

I have to say that I'm torn on the OnBlast today. I do believe that children should be punished when they act up but after listening to arguments for both sides, I do wonder whether or not spanking will cause my son to be a mean person in the long run. I also hate disciplining him but I know that's the only way for him to learn right and wrong and that it's best for me to do it rather than the police. I have learned that when he does something that warrants a spanking that's what he will get but when it's something that he should be disciplined for but not extreme, I make him sit on the stairs or send him to his room and he gets that he shouldn't act that way. I think as parents in this day and age that parents need to get more creative in nurturing and disciplining our children. I'm sure that all of these bad ass kids out here have had a beating before and that isn't stopping them from ending up in jail. I hope that someone has some ideas on how to approach disciplining kids. Question: Do you tailor your discipline depending on the child's age? If so, what are some of your ideas for disciplining children under the age of 5?

donya said...

Well, I don't spank my children unless it is really necessary. I have good children they are just mischievious. With my boys (9, 6, 4)I have tried a variety of things. From taking away their favorite toy, or the gameboy or the playstation, to writng a thousand times "I will do my chores". My two youngest have held their arms out until I say put them down. My oldest boy has now been placed in the young marines I am doing that otherwise I will kill him. He does not like his French Immersion school so he is doing everything in his power to get out of it. My daughter is different. She is 12 and she does a lot of mumbling and grumbling. The thing is I have told my children that once they are 18 I am no longer responsible so they have better have a job or join the Armed Forces.

Jeanine said...

Limited spanking as a form of discipline is not abuse. Payton is only 1 so we really don;t have this issue. Most times, if she;s doing something out of line, we speak to her firmly and redirect her attention to something positive. But in extreme cases, we have spanked her hands when she did something totally inappropriate (i.e. slapping, biting). Speaking firmly to her really works and she will jump back from whatever she is doing. I hope that we don't have to beat her butt often but she will get it if her behavior warrants that extreme.

Diallo and I have an apporach of trying to deal with the situation without spanking first but if we have to, we are not afraid and will not hesitate to lay the smack down.

I really think that if you establish an open loving yet firm relationship, you won't have to spank each and every time. I know "the look" and the tone of your voice work very well and I have already began implementing it in our home.

Children will test your limits and try you and I am telling my blog family right now, if Payton acts a fool and jumps out there....I will BEAT THAT AZZ...period. In fact, if in 15 years you happen see my child out in public showing her azz, hem her up and call my on the celly....immejiately! I have accepted the fact that every child will have to have that one whooping that will stick with them for the rest of their lives, I had it, my mom had it, my grandma, had it and so shall it be with my children.

Jeanine

donya said...

I know that's right Jeanine. I agree.

Just Me said...

Let me start my saying....

Not all kids require the SAME discipline actions.

I truly believe in waxing that azz. If you are old enough to understand me and my emotions, they you better watch out. I beat that azz as the final straw method. You will receive many warnings before I pull out the whip and chair. People by nature, will push to find their limits with everyone, kids do it, friends do it and even spouses do it. I believe that fear is a good strong-hold on kids or you will fear your kids. Those parents that don't have limits, their kids totally disrespect them. Ex: I will not be buying my kids cigs or allowing them to smoke, drink, use foul language or fuck in my house, NEVER. Shyt, I don't even get to fuck in my own house. I am the adult and you will always be the child. Now, when you’re an adult child, I will relent on a few behaviors. Madea aint got shyt on me. Mine called the po-po on me and was truly disappointed with the outcome.

Just Me said...

I like this Jeanine girl....No holds BAR...You get my vote.

donya said...

I have gone as far as given my children the number if ever they want to call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. I have always told them they do not have the mother that is going to go on some show and say that I am scared. If anything I will be on the show with me on a TV screen behind bars first.

Cocoa Rican said...

I’m a firm believer in corporal punishment (spanking) as a form of punishment, although in my experience, I’ve never actually used it on any of my nephews. To speak to Winnie’s point, your punishment – whether a spanking or other form of punishment needs to be appropriate for the offense and for the age group. You can’t beat your child down because he spilled milk on the kitchen table, etc. I do however believe that the wide net of “child abuse” has been cast to include responsible, caring and involved parents who are simply disciplining their children and as a result, society as a whole is cleaning up the mess of children who manipulated the “child abuse” system to get their way. Unfortunately, as Winnie mentioned many of those kids end-up as adults abused by the legal system and their “conpadres” in jail. A good rule of thumb to use is this, “If it leaves a permanent scar, it’s not a spanking, it’s child abuse.” Also, children under five should be disciplined with more care since their attention span is shorter and their bodies are very frail. A simple swipe of the hand from a grown man can kill or maim a two-year old. Most important children should never be spanked while a parent is at the height of anger or frustration. This is normally when good parents are caught-up in bad situations. Otherwise, BEAT THAT AZZ UNTIL THE AIR LEAVES THEM AND THEY HAVE THAT OPEN-MOUTHED-WHERE'D-THE-OXYGEN-GO look.

Anonymous said...

beat that ass,
Knock fire out that head,
beat that ass...


JMoo

Anonymous said...

After the age of 7 years old, a child can be hit in the throat and/ or stomach…
-B. Mack

Tammy said...

beat dat azz!!!

donya said...

Well to each his own B. Mack but sissy why you lyin? You wouldn't let me beat Michael!

Cocoa Rican said...

yeah..you wouldn't let me eat Michael either!

LOL

donya said...

hetor stay away from my nephew! LOL ewwww!!!!!!

Cocoa Rican said...

....I'm just sayin'
ummm...what was I saying?
I'm feeling a bit confused... befuddled... bewildered...

Anonymous said...

Personally I don't believe in hitting every time, however, I do believe that it depends on what's going on hey my mother personally beat the shit out of 3 girls raised in South Bronx and we turned out pretty good.

However, now a days for me personally I belive 2 things are important: 1) lead by example and 2) communication, communication

Niether one guarantees anything but it does lay a foundation and helps out extremely I personally believe.

I personally did it w/my sisters who I am 10 yrs older and 8 yrs older and they turned out very well, and I am now doing it w/my daughter.

Discipline, and more importantly showing them cause and effect to what we do and the choices we make as individuals is extremely important to teach our children.

Krissy

Tammy said...

ok...so i didnt beat my kids...but they were good boys and didnt need to be beat. they listened to what i told them. so forgit you donya...and hector...keep yo nasty dirty ole man self away from my babies!!!!!

KRISALMIGHTY said...

I'M WITH TOTALLY WITH JEANINE ON THIS. SPANKING AS A FINAL STRAW IS NOT ABUSE. A PARENT'S PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY IS TO TEACH A CHILD STRUCTURE, ACCOUNTABILITY, RIGHT AND WRONG (GENERALLY)AND RESPECT..ETC. AND DEPENDING ON THE CHILD ITS EITHER THE CARROT OR THE STICK WITH REASONABLE RESTRAINT. AS A CHILD I GRAVITATED TOWARDS THE CARROT ('CAUSE GETTING SPANKED DIDN'T TURN ME ON ...THEM..LOL), BUT MY BROTHER REG PREFERRED TO GET HIS ASS WAXED EVERYTIME 'CAUSE HE FELT IT NECESSARY TO TEST MY FATHERS EVERY LIMIT. I'M NOT QUITE LIKE MEDEA ON THIS BUT JEANINE HAS THE PERFECT MIDDLE GROUND.

Just Me said...

Tengan buen fin de semana.

caspar608 said...

Sorry this is late.
My chirrens are HUGE. I have no choice but to beat their azz. If I have to tell them more then 3 times to do something the 4th thing I am telling them is they can feel free to call ACS and the cops and live in a foster home....simply put they WILL NOT disrespect me in my home. That goes for all of them. When I say huge I mean my 13 year old is almost 6'2" and wears a size 16 shoe. I smack UP to him.

I will have them wet their pants out of fear if necessary (although it has never happened...at least not yet). I would rather scare the shit out of my babies and have them thinbk to themselves "If SHE reacts to us like this for being stupid, imagine what will happen from a complete stranger if we fall out of line" well then I have done my job with an ass whooping fortified by the good book.
Feel free to criticize, but no one cares more about your kids than you (thats the good parents only).

caspar608 said...

BEAT. THAT. ASS.