Thursday, February 02, 2006

Morning Edition - 2/2/06

Alternative Families; What’s the story?
There are over 542,000 children in foster care in the United States today. Of those, only 24% reside with foster homes that include relatives. Another 48% reside with non-relative foster homes. A resounding 18% live in group homes or institutions. The big question is what constitutes a healthy home environment for these children who no longer live with their biological parents. The conservative view is that gay parents are not equipped to raise children and provide a confusing home environment for young children, while the liberal view is that children would benefit from a loving home environment regardless of the sexual orientation of the parental figure(s). All said, children face foster care for various reasons, but most fall into the system as victims of abuse. Unfortunately, the system itself is not set-up to handle the enormous caseload it now has, so children removed from their abusive homes may find themselves in equally abuse foster families. Black children make up 38% of the cases in foster care, with Whites following at 37% and Latino children at 17%. Also highly disproportionate are the number of black families willing to take on black foster children. This little fact almost guarantees the vicious cycle of the growing number of black children in revolving foster care. Having gay parents posts its own set of challenges. Most of those challenges stem from societal views and ostracism by children who have been taught intolerance to home environments different from their own. A loving gay parental unit plays a greater positive role in the life of a foster child than an abusive straight family. Conversely, no study has proven that children raised by gay parents grow up to be gay themselves; mainly because sexual orientation is not learned. Having gay parents may teach children tolerance and serve to give them a different perspective on what behaviors define a loving couple, but it will never encourage a behavior that isn’t already there. Studies have shown that most gay individuals come from straight family environments. As a responsible society we have to ask ourselves whether it’s more important to maintain the parental unit “norm” or whether giving a child a happy and healthy home warrants us changing our dated views.

Pedophilia and Homosexuality; Danger for Children in Gay Family Environment?
Pedophilia is defined as an adult attraction or perversion to children. Sexual orientation (homosexual or heterosexual) is from one adult to another. A study of 269 cases of children sexually abused by adults found that only 2 of the attackers were gay. Of the other 267 cases, most of the attackers were in heterosexual relationships with either the mother of the abused or another family member. The study concluded that a child has a 100% greater chance of being molested by a relative’s heterosexual partner than by a known homosexual person.

Either They Are or They’re Not; You Can’t Make Them
A 1992 article in Child Development entitled Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents showed that children of gay parents had the same chances of being gay as those raised by heterosexual parents. Further, Psychiatrist Laurintine Fromm of the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital said that all facts show that children of gay parents do not fare any worse than those of heterosexual parents in any area of development – including sexual identity formation.

On Blast
Ignorance is bliss, but the facts are the facts. Is it fair and safer to have children remain in foster care, rather than allowing willing and loving gay parents give stable homes to these children? Are we subjecting children to further psychological abuse by placing them in gay households? What is your view on gay foster care and adoption rights?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

35 comments:

Melissa said...

What the heck difference does it make what sexual preference a foster parent has? The MOST important thing for any child placed in foster homes or adopted is that their environment is safe, they are given love, attention and are taught morals and values.

Can a gay couple provide these necessities just like a straight couple? They sure the hell can! Society needs to get off the gay jock. They need to stop trying to control what they can't control nor have the right to control in the first damn place. How about concentrating on the important issue at hand...the safety and well-being of every child in the system.

Whew...okay, I'm done. Have a great day.

Anonymous said...

Good morning all. I totally disagree with a child being adopted by gay parents. Yes, foster care is a terrible place to be. However, living a life full of psychological confusion is just as bad if not worse.

How does a child explain that they have two mothers or two fathers? That is just crazy. God never intended for children to be brought up in a home with same sex parents. Isn't that teaching the children that living a life of sin is acceptable? Peer pressure will kill you. Think of the teasing and taunting we went through? Why would you subject a child to more than what they will already go through?

I do agree that a huge misconception is that gay parents abuse their children. As stated, more children are sexually abused by straight parents. To each it’s own. On judgment day, we all will have to answer.

Anonymous said...

Melissa, how can a child be taught morals and values when they see daddy and daddy kissing and hugging? Yes it is showing love but it is showing sinful love. That is not what God intended, I don't care how you word it or try to sweeten it!

Winnie said...

I am sick of everyone being so morally judgemental. I'm torn between whether gays should become foster parents or adopt children but I also look at it from the best interest of the children. If I'm not stepping up and adopting any of these children or making my doors open to them, what gives me the right to have an opinion about those who find it in their hearts to do so? That is the problem with this country and the people in it. We think that we are above everyone else but none of us will be motivated enough by the On-Blast question to step out and take a child into our homes. We need to get off our moral high horses and those of us quoting scriptures and bringing God into it need to understand that God is not a God of division and would want us to do the right thing and adopt a child. No one is immune to having a loving heart and wanting to help those in need. Those same desires are placed on gays as well. So what do we do tell them that they shouldn't want to act on them?

lala said...

I have a question...why is there such a huge misconception that gay couples can't be good parents if not better parents than non-gay couples?

Just Me said...

I’ll start by saying that I feel that gay men should be permitted to adopt/foster/raise male children and that gay women should have the same right for little girls.

Now, I’ll try to be as nice about this as possible. There are things that a woman needs to teach a girl that men can’t do and vise-a-versa. These children need a strong network of men and women to learn the appropriate things that will make them a well rounded individual.

I also believe that nurture plays a big part in how we as people internalize and conceptualize our environment.

Do I believe that a very feminine male or masculine female should raise a child, you decide. We all have actions that we learn i.e. “You act just like your mother”, “You look just like your father when you say that”.

Enough from Just Me.

Anonymous said...

My God is an awesome God… His all inclusive Love is just that, ALL INCLUSIVE LOVE.
How many times have your earthly parents advised you against a decision you have chosen?
How many times have you made your earthly parent anger and made them throw up their hands at the choices of your actions?
But yet, they still Love you and they have forgiven you more times than you deserve…
Now, why would you think your earthly parents are better than God himself?
So, if you are having a bad season, Jesus ain’t the reason.
God Loves you inside out. He Loved you before you were you and He Loves you before, after and during your transgressions.
Judgment of sin is sin…accepting God’s Holy words as a guide and inspiration to living your life is a personal journey.
And your journey of your own “free will”, your walk with God will be raddled with trials and tribulations but, against no man do you sin, against God and in God’s eyes alone you sin and will be judged by God.
Not man.
J’Moo

Jeanine said...

This is an excellent question Coco!

I totally agree with Winnie on this one. I too am torn b/c my beliefs tell me one thing but my comapssionate heart says something else. I've siad this time and time again, if being a homosexual is what make an individual happy, then more power to them. Their sexual preference has NO bearing on their ability to be a caring, loving parent.

In my opinion, it is far better to have a child in a safe loving environment then one that is the polar opposite. If a gay couple is willing to open up their home and hearts to a child and love and support that child 100% then what else is there to talk about?

Jeanine said...

J'Moo - you betta teach!

Anonymous said...

Children are our most precision commodity on earth. They should be the focus of everything that is gear towards the future. Both of my parents are present and straight, all of my siblings (thus far) are straight but, one never knows what tomorrow holds. I am Gay, with a capital “G”. My son that I have that most contact with is straight, married for the second time and the father of three. A good parent is a good parent and the same goes for a bad parent. It is the world‘s most important job and not everyone is cut out for it. Being a bad or good parent has nothing to do with sexual and it shouldn’t; try to find a difference in your parents and yourself… and see if it made you good or bad.
J'Moo

FREAKING RICAN said...

Coco Loco,

I think if you adopted a child you would be a great parent! I have seen you with your nephews and I know that you love children dearly. I also know that you are a very private person and you don't show any affection toward your partner when you are present with your siblings. Which I respect because you know that even though your family loves you they are spiritual people and you respect that side of them. With that said you know I also have a love for GOD that is first in my life and I love God's words and respect them. I also know that I can not judge anyone that is why you and I get along so well. I also know that you are my dear friend who I love and adore and even though I have my spiritual beliefs I would support you if you ever decided to adopt a child regardless of your sexual preference because I know the kind of man you are and they would be bless to have you! Enough Said....

FREAKING RICAN said...

J'Moo,

I love you so much! Well said brother! Perfect in every word!

FREAKIN! AWESOME!

Cocoa Rican said...

Foster care and adoption rights for gays has been spotlighted a lot lately and based on some odd fire-up of the topic yesterday, here we go…
Let me start by saying that many folks are completely in the dark about gays in general. To make it easier to comprehend the orientation – they have the EXACT life goals, concerns, issues, strengths and weaknesses as straight people – PERIOD. They’re human. Children are learning these warped prejudices and biases toward folks different than themselves from adults. That said, from a personal standpoint, you can rest easy Anonymous. I do not want children and barring any God forsaken tragedy, would not go out of my way to take on the responsibility. I believe one of the blessings (and yes, clutch your pearls, I said blessings) of being gay is that I can enjoy my life fully without the fear of bearing children. Fortunately, there are gays who do want children in their lives and can provide a loving, caring and responsible environment complete with good morals to boot. Gays are aware of the ostracism and ridicule that may be inflicted on their children and take great precautions to make the lives on their loved ones as “normal” as possible. One psychologist even suggested gay parents having early conversations with the children about when it is appropriate and inappropriate to discuss their home lives – not because there is something wrong with it, but because not everyone will understand and be supportive. It’s comparative to the children of interracial couples or disabled couples….go figure.
Ultimately, I agree with Winona – either adopt or shut up. A loving home will ALWAYS be more positive for a child than a group home or an abusive straight home. Any straight person that can actually believe that children fair better if in an abusive straight family need to get their head examined. Daddy kissing daddy or mommy kissing mommy is not shocking to the children, since they are accustomed to seeing it on a daily basis. They see straight interactions from other family members and television, so it all balances out. I don’t believe any parental figure should have SEX in front of their children, so save that point of discussion for your therapist or just throw it on your “must-see” list and hope for the best. Here’s the kicker... I was born to and raised by a happily married straight couple, very religious (Christian) household with all the right examples to make me a healthy, red-blooded, snatch-chasing straight man and I’m gay as a fruit basket, while a close friend of mine who was raised by atheist gay parents, is a rough-and-tumble, well-adjusted straight jock, who has two children. Coincidentally, they visit their grand daddies regularly. Ain’t it all a kick in the rubber parts?!

Anonymous said...

THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL STATEMENT!!!!!

Good morning all. I totally disagree with a child being adopted by gay parents. Yes, foster care is a terrible place to be. However, living a life full of psychological confusion is just as bad if not worse.

How does a child explain that they have two mothers or two fathers? That is just crazy. God never intended for children to be brought up in a home with same sex parents. Isn't that teaching the children that living a life of sin is acceptable? Peer pressure will kill you. Think of the teasing and taunting we went through? Why would you subject a child to more than what they will already go through?

I do agree that a huge misconception is that gay parents abuse their children. As stated, more children are sexually abused by straight parents. To each it’s own. On judgment day, we all will have to answer.

caspar608 said...

All I know is, if I croak tomorrow, Cocoa is getting partial custody of my kids. Of course, he never agreed to that but if he doesn't step up to the plate for my babies, I will haunt his ass at the most inopportune times.

And J'Moo that goes for you too. I would like to think that you would like to see my kids if I am dead.

caspar608 said...

testify J'Moo!!!!!
TES....TI.....FYYY!!!!!

Cocoa Rican said...

The five children I would take FULL custody of in the event of a tragedy are:
Christopher/Daylen &
Bryan, Derrick & Sophia

God save our neighbors, the community at large and their future spouses.

KRISALMIGHTY said...

FIRST I'LL HAVE TO PREFACE MY COMMENTS BY SAYING THAT I'M GOD PARENTS TO 2 CHILDREN WHO ARE ADOPTED BY GAY PARENTS.
CAN A GAY COUPLES PROVIDE THE NECESSARY NURTURE (PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND MORALLY) AND RAISE A HEALTHY CHILD....HELL YEAH! I DO BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN NEED TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH BOTH SEXES THROUGHOUT THEIR DEVELOPMENT, BUT I DON'T SEE THAT AS BEING A PROBLEM. SAME SEX COUPLES COULD SUCCESSLYLLY RAISE A CHILD AND BE THE PRIMARY CARE GIVER AND EXPOSE THAT CHILD TO ALL THAT IS NECESSARY.

I THINK THAT MOST OF THE OBJECTIONS COME FROM PEOPLE WHO DON'T REALLY HAVE THE BEST INTEREST OF CHILDREN IN MIND, BUT THEIR OWN FEARS AND PREJUDICES. SOME PEOPLE HAVE PROJECTED THERE OWN TWISTED VIEW OF GAYS AS CONFUSED AND DYSFUNCTIONAL PEOPLE. WELL I'M NOT HERE TO DEFEND GAYS, BUT TO ATTACT STUPIDITY. THOSE OF US WHO ARE PARENTS KNOW THAT RAISING CHILDREN HAS MORE TO DO WITH PATIENCE , UNDERSTANDING ECONOMICS, LOVE AND MORE LOVE, THAN IT HAS TO DO WITH THE SEXUAL/AFFECTIONAL PREFERENCE OF THAT PARENT.
AND THOSE OF US WHO LIKE TO BEAT FOLKS UP THAT BIBLICAL SIN SHYT HAVE TO ASK OUR SELVES IF THEY ARE REALLY REPRESENTING GOD, OR A GOD THEIR OWN FEARS HAVE ORDAINED......A FEAR THAT THEY SEEM TO HAVE GRANTED ABSOLUTE VIRTUE TO RENDER REPUGNAMT AN ALTERNATIVE LIFE STYLE THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND. REMEMBER THAT "LOVE" IS RELIGIONS FIRST VALUE.
DAMN IT, WE HAVE A LOT OF CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY IN THE BLACK AND LATINO COMMUNITY WHO NEED ADOPTIVE AND FOSTER PARENTS, WHO NEED LOVE AND CARE AND STRUCTURE AND ORDER AND DIRECTION AND STABILITY AND A HOME AND MORE LOVE A CHANCE TO FULRISH AND DEVELOP A PERSONALITY AND A SELF. PARENTS TO THAT EVERYDAY AND GAY AND LESBIAN PARENTS ARE NO DIFFERENT.

caspar608 said...

I am a CHRISTIAN. Meaning, I embrace the teachings of Christ and I walk with Him. I am human. I fall very short of His perfection. But that is precisely why He got up there on that wood and had nails placed into His body...because He knew I would never be as perfect as our heavenly Father. As long as my children are taught the fundamental differences between right and wrong...I could not ask for a better parent to my children than Hector and I know whoever his partner was would respect my children and Hector (my boys are destined to be 6'6 - ers if not taller and YES they are heavily entrenched in Basketball). Did your Mom and Dad show each other affection? Thats great. Mine seldom did. So if Hector and his partner kiss and hug in front of my babies I have no objection. Love is never inappropriate. Love does not need sex to be present. I would not expect any parents to be sexually active in front of any child straight or gay.
So, I guess it Quachon Brown was better off being in a home where his Mothers boyfriend took him by the ankles and swung his four year old body around until his head smashed against a wall rather than him being in a foster home with two loving gay parents? Anyone who believes that it is better to be abused than be loved is an a$$hole...and you know what? Jesus would probably think you are an a$$hole too. Children, after all, were His NUMBER ONE priority. Unless you become like little children you will not see the kingdom of God.

Just Me said...

Cocoa Rican,

Are you saying that you would leave your child to internalize their role in this life to Television? Television is just that TV, a portrait picture of the producer/Director. Don’t leave any of your family/friends to obtain lessons from a TV screen. You’ll have murderers and Thugs slapping you around and telling you what to do.

We really have a variety of views. It is not your parents/Grandparents friends/lovers or the USA’s real responsibility to raise your mistake(s). What needs to be done is STOP these people from having unwanted children. We Spay and neuter our pets yet we feel that we as people should have free reign of the earth….I say snip the tunnels that lead to reproduction in male and female if you have a child and DO not want to keep it. There are abortion options prior to giving birth. If you can’t find a wanting person or couple, DON’T have it. We (people) are no better than nature itself and we need to start thinking of ours in that respect and STOP putting US above it. SHYT

We all talk abort abortion as the un-Godly; none of us have been to the other side and returned to tell about the adventure or horror. I personally believe that it is much better place than the one you and I live in currently.

petite morceau said...

Anonymous, we all don't think like you do, thank God.

I do not think it's immoral for people of the same sex to love each other. Just for the record, I am a heterosexual woman and I have always thought that homosexuality was just a difference in genetics like having brown hair vs. blonde hair - that's how you were born. It's your natural inclination and if you're not hurting anyone why should you suppress it simply because others don't like it.

Homosexuals go through more trauma in their lives from trying to suppress their natural instincts and pretend they're something they're not just to please society and I think that's bullsh*t.

I personally think it's ridiculous and illogical to think that it's better for a foster child to be cared for by a heterosexual couple who mistreats them as opposed to a gay couple who would provide a loving home.

If you follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, then you know that he promoted tolerance of your fellow brother/sister and leaving the judgement to God.

Cocoa Rican said...

Just Me….First, I repeat, I don’t WANT children of my own. Second, children watch television and see interactions (both positive and negative) daily. Third, my children (assuming the good Lord arranged it for me to have some) would have every right to see my partner and I in my household environment interact in an appropriate, but loving way. I also have sibling and friends who are straight and my child(ren) would have an opportunity to also see those appropriate interactions.

As far as neutering and spaying humans – you’re f*cking nuts! Although folks should not take bearing and raising children lightly – or leaving the job to others, lightly – we still have to trust that as responsible humans we will make the right decisions. By the way, you do realize that not all children in foster care are there due to negligent or abusive parent(s), don’t you? Some are there due to unfortunate accidents, lack of adequate family support or a good decision by a person who knew they couldn’t raise a child.

I say we INSIST that all those opposed to caring, responsible and willing gay folks providing foster care and adopting children should be FORCED to take two children from the foster care system in show of solidarity and support to the raising of children by straight parents. Put your LIFE where you mouth is.

caspar608 said...

Can we go forward without attacking each other please? I apologize for the azzhole comment I made earlier. We are all entitled to our opinions. Last night Law and Order was about forced sterilization of teenage thugs who didn't even know they were sterilized. Personally I agree that in cases where the a child has suffered a horrendous amount of abuse the persons responsible should have their reproductive organs ripped from them. But who am I? I certainly am not God and I have no right to try to bring my wrath upon any human when the blood of Christ is on my hands as well. The bottom line here is responsible parenting. Just Me, are you saying that children who are not raised in the "traditional" homes of Mommy and Daddy will eventually become a menace to society? And do you really think that abortion is a better choice?
I respect you completely for your honesty and your willing ness to stick to your guns. I just think that there has got to be a better way than the abuse of life on earth and the termination of life in the womb and love is definitely the answer to most of life's problems.

Just Me said...

See Cocoa,

It's that thinking that fosters stupidity. We should try preventing the problem instead of curing/remedying....

What the hell is wrong with a woman/man getting their tubes tied? WE ARE NO BETTER than animals ourselves. I can't think of any animal that will destroy this earth other than the human one. Even in nature when food is slim breeding is slowed but, not in humans. We think it insane to curb productivity…..I am not saying STOP having sex; just stop the reproduction of ill wanted or needed offspring.

caspar608 said...

Birth control pills, condoms etc should be made available for free to anyone in this country that needs them. PERIOD.

Just Me said...

Cas,

No I'm am not saying that gays can't raise children but, NOT all should be raising.

I wasn't raised in a traditions home. I believe that a single person can raise a child but, they still interaction with other people to provide that child with a solid view of society. Our (Humans)are geared to thinking that WE are better than every other species, WE ARE NOT. Nature has a way of balancing itself out. We go against all laws and make out own path the destruction.

We raise our kids from toddlers to old age and death. We cuddle our grown children sheltering them from live. We protect the wrongs that they do under the cloak of "They didn't mean it". Raise them to be productive citizens or let them learn from the school of hard knocks. Even the baby sparrow is pushed from the nest when the time comes. We'll have our 25 yrs old kid that has 3 children of his own still living with us and they have no desire to get a fuck'n job because MOMMY's baby.....RAISE YOUR DAMN KIDS..

KRISALMIGHTY said...

JUST ME'S COMMENTS AS USUAL ARE TOTALLY OBTUSE TO THE ORIGINAL ON BLAST QUESTION, BUT HIS ATTITUDE IS THE VERY REASON WHY PEOPLE REFRAIN FROM ADOPTING. AS COCOARICAN SAID NOT ALL OF THESE KIDS ARE THERE BECAUSE OF NEGLECT OR IRRESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS. THE IDEA IS NOT TO ASSIGN BLAME HERE BUT TO FIND LOVING HOMES GAY OR STRAIGHT) FOR THESE CHILDREN. YOU JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE DYFS WEBSITE AND LOOK AT THOSE HOPEFUL AND ADORABLE FACES OF BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN . I THINK THAT "JUST ME" IS TOTALLY ASSANIME AND UNINTELLIGENT TO SUGGEST SPRAYING AND NUTERING HUMANS. AND I'M SO GLAD FOR OUR SAKE THAT AS HIS NAME SUGGESTS, HE IS JUST..... HE AND HE ALONE

Cocoa Rican said...

Just Me,
Thank you… you’ve opened my eyes and have taught by example that maybe abortion isn’t a bad idea. …but seriously folks, although humans are animals, we are the only animal with a sense of reason. This isn’t to say that all will make the right decisions, but we can’t have BIG brother making the decision of what individuals we will select for sterilization. I just don’t think it makes any sense to have a point of view that says – Gays should not be allowed to adopt because they will ruin a child’s life – if you don’t intend to step your heterosexual behind up to the plate to take on the responsibility. It’s like having pedestrians who don’t own cars voting on raising car insurance rates. Put up or shut up.

caspar608 said...

Settle down settle down folks.
Just me, I see you what u are saying. Somepeople just shouldn't be allowed children...then there would never be an issue of "is it ok for gays to raise kids" because everyone who has children would be handling their business and not killing off or enabling what they have created. I understand you. I had to read your postings a couple of times to fully undertand what you are saying.
In other words, the issue of "gay" parenting would not exist if people didn't bring children into the world that they could not take care of or could not love. I don't think Just Me is attacking gay parents ... I think he is attacking the savages out there that don't do what they are suposed to do for their children.
Unforutnately the ration of kids in foster care because of abuse and kids in foster care becuase of unfortunate circumstances is very unbalanced. Most of the kids in the system are there because of bad parenting.
SO I feel you Just Me. I may not always agree with what you say, but I respect your opinion.
Now the rest of you should behave yourselves dammit!!!! Don't make me take off my belt in this store........

Anonymous said...

all you homohaters out there can slurp on ma nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why you think so many dudes like to get butt sex from they girls/wives/hoes all that.
Yeah, I thought so.

NEXT QUESTION

Skee-Lo Bee-Lo

caspar608 said...

Intruder alert Intruder alert!!!!!!
What the hell was that?

caspar608 said...

You have some strange friends out there Cocoa...

Anonymous said...

someone is about to get cut to shreds. call the paramedics and get them on standby stat.

I will slice and dice you and make you a ghost.

caspar608 said...

Is that right?
I'll be waiting for you closet monster. And keep in mind that I don't pull hair or scratch. I punch the shyt out of people and blood doesn't scare me - not my own or anyone else's - so PLEASE DO come for yours. And you may want to notify the local blood bank that you will be having your own shortage soon.
Schizophrenic sack of trash that you clearly are....

Just Me said...

Blah Blah Blah Blah...

Be responsible and limit the insanity.

Not ALL people should be parents gay or STR8.....

Spaying is nothing more than tube shutoff. We (Humans) just give it another name when we refer to ourselves....snip snip.....