Morning Edition - 9/1/06

2006 VMAs; Umm…Is This Thing On?
As the untraditional hip award show of the bunch, MTVs Video Music Awards tends to feature the hottest artists doing their thing – even irreverently putting-it-all-out-there for all of us to suffer those jaw-dropping moments that have us talking mad shyt the next day at the office. Last night’s show was slightly different. Hosted by Jack Black, the show came across as unrehearsed, haphazard and wild. Presenters insisted on doing their own thing and the audience seemed to be more concerned with getting 4-seconds of fame waving to the passing cameras, than applauding for the performing acts. Notable mentions include: Lil’ Kim – fresh from the tuna-can, the nip-and-tucked jailbird was brought on stage in an orange jumpsuit by two would-be corrections officers. She stripped off the garb to expose a thicker Kim and an insistence that we jump out of our seats and cheer her release. Sweetie…go ahead and put that lighter up – right under a blunt… now, sit down! Jessica Simpson chose a dress from the hooker-line attire rack. The dress was so short that the first 10 rows were treated to counting the polyps on her colon. Jes, you’re makin’ me respect Nick. Shakira… whew! Shakira, Shakira, Shakira. My Latina girl threw those hips around and I had hot flashes that had me rifling through my closet trying on every hip hugger I own trying to find an outfit for this weekend…. she was hot, but for the switch-sides moment….. drumroll please… the award goes to the perennial babe Beyonce. Her hot shorts, flowing hair and bangin’ bod made me crack a 40, turn to ESPN and scratch my nuts… I was transformed. Conversely, my usually stylish ma J-Lo went for the flying-nun-meets-Gidget look. I had to send an e-mail to Marc Anthony to let him know he’s destroying my girl. I love you Jen, but the wet Chihuahua is ruining your image. Finally, taking it from Stripped, dirty and raw to classic elegance and flawless vocals, Christina Aguilera delivered the 40s for ’06. It’s all about you CA-CA. Notes for next year… Get a real host; change the format of the show to appear organized and live; remove Kelly Clarkson from the ballots –she’s an amateur stealing awards from true artists and she doesn’t have the respect to even show up to pick them up.

Labor Day; Now You Know
On September 5, 1882, New York celebrated the first ever Labor Day. The holiday was intended to commemorate the prosperity of our nation because of the hard work of the American public. Although historians debate whether Peter McGuire or Matthew Maguire suggested the holiday, the importance of the holiday isn’t debated. As Americans we are the richest nation in the world, able to turn paupers into billionaires – for that we should all celebrate. Labor Day is also the only holiday that doesn’t honor a war, deceased hero or religious observance. This holiday celebrates the opportunity to dream and more importantly, to live that dream.

On Blast
Last night Beyonce had me easily switching sides for one night of bumping pretties with her…No judgments; keep it real. What artist would have you forgo your sexual orientation for an intimate moment with them?

Keep passin’ the open windows…