Friday, September 01, 2006

Morning Edition - 9/1/06

2006 VMAs; Umm…Is This Thing On?
As the untraditional hip award show of the bunch, MTVs Video Music Awards tends to feature the hottest artists doing their thing – even irreverently putting-it-all-out-there for all of us to suffer those jaw-dropping moments that have us talking mad shyt the next day at the office. Last night’s show was slightly different. Hosted by Jack Black, the show came across as unrehearsed, haphazard and wild. Presenters insisted on doing their own thing and the audience seemed to be more concerned with getting 4-seconds of fame waving to the passing cameras, than applauding for the performing acts. Notable mentions include: Lil’ Kim – fresh from the tuna-can, the nip-and-tucked jailbird was brought on stage in an orange jumpsuit by two would-be corrections officers. She stripped off the garb to expose a thicker Kim and an insistence that we jump out of our seats and cheer her release. Sweetie…go ahead and put that lighter up – right under a blunt… now, sit down! Jessica Simpson chose a dress from the hooker-line attire rack. The dress was so short that the first 10 rows were treated to counting the polyps on her colon. Jes, you’re makin’ me respect Nick. Shakira… whew! Shakira, Shakira, Shakira. My Latina girl threw those hips around and I had hot flashes that had me rifling through my closet trying on every hip hugger I own trying to find an outfit for this weekend…. she was hot, but for the switch-sides moment….. drumroll please… the award goes to the perennial babe Beyonce. Her hot shorts, flowing hair and bangin’ bod made me crack a 40, turn to ESPN and scratch my nuts… I was transformed. Conversely, my usually stylish ma J-Lo went for the flying-nun-meets-Gidget look. I had to send an e-mail to Marc Anthony to let him know he’s destroying my girl. I love you Jen, but the wet Chihuahua is ruining your image. Finally, taking it from Stripped, dirty and raw to classic elegance and flawless vocals, Christina Aguilera delivered the 40s for ’06. It’s all about you CA-CA. Notes for next year… Get a real host; change the format of the show to appear organized and live; remove Kelly Clarkson from the ballots –she’s an amateur stealing awards from true artists and she doesn’t have the respect to even show up to pick them up.

Labor Day; Now You Know
On September 5, 1882, New York celebrated the first ever Labor Day. The holiday was intended to commemorate the prosperity of our nation because of the hard work of the American public. Although historians debate whether Peter McGuire or Matthew Maguire suggested the holiday, the importance of the holiday isn’t debated. As Americans we are the richest nation in the world, able to turn paupers into billionaires – for that we should all celebrate. Labor Day is also the only holiday that doesn’t honor a war, deceased hero or religious observance. This holiday celebrates the opportunity to dream and more importantly, to live that dream.

On Blast
Last night Beyonce had me easily switching sides for one night of bumping pretties with her…No judgments; keep it real. What artist would have you forgo your sexual orientation for an intimate moment with them?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hector, thank you. Your review of last night’s VMAs is what I am always looking for -other than the red carpet moments of course – “the real.”

On blast: I love my beautiful sisters and give them their props for having the strength to do what they do and to do it well, but not nary one of them will make me want to share an intimate moment with them other than a hug out of sheer respect for what they do. That Beyonce is the bomb and I call her the "lady that can't do no wrong". She has this inner and outer beauty about herself that I have respected from day one. I may not have liked some of her earlier music, but she posses this charming and charismatic quality about herself and at such a young age. You gotta love her and I do, but not enough to switch teams.

Redhotmamagirl

donya said...

I agree with you Redhotmamagirl. It is not that serious for me.

Tammy said...

Hector, you are hilarious! Ok, I'll tell y'all who made me want to switch...one of the guys on Queer as Folk...I wanted to be a gay guy cause I wanted to do him. I dont know his name tho.

Anonymous said...

Well shoot in that case Tammy, I wanna be a gay man also. Remember that time at the Santuary (H Street, NE, DC) all them beautiful children? Yeah, I wanna be a gay man too. Bravo Tammy, bravo

Redhotmamagirl

Clay said...

i reviewed the VMAs too but i really thought Beyonce was trash!

Cocoa Rican said...

Tam, I believe you're referring to either Justin (the young blonde) or Brian (the hooker)on Queer as Folk. Alright ladies...deciding you'd be gay men wasn't an option. The hell is this world coming to. I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT! You ladies cannot come out as gay men on my blog! LOL.... I love y'all... turning shyt around and trying to take our men...
"Whatchu done to me, already done to you..." Ms. Celie, Color Purple

Dayne Avery said...

I agree with you, Beyonce would definately be it. Or should I say her alter ego "sasha" cuz she is the sexy one. lol. Its something about her body, those thick thighs and just the right size boobies that makes me wanna play for the other team.

Just Me said...

I have to disagree with your take on B. She's young trash with a sence of FALSE glass. I see a person who struggles to be something that she is NOT. I think that Kelly has more natural class. B is just given ALL the camera time because of her position and "beauty" in other's eyes.

Cocoa Rican said...

:::: Clasping both hands and shaking them above head:::::
Lawd!!! I can't deal with the sacrilege! I will not have the imaginary mother of my children disrespected Just Me!

R&B lover said...

I wasn't feeling the VMA awards. What was up with the comments that pink made. Did it go over my head or what?

caspar608 said...

Kely is actually Beyonce's bastard sister for thos who don't know. THat is the info that the two former members of Destiny's Child were forbidden to disclosed as part of the settlement they received from MAtthew Knowles Production Co. when they left.

Yes, Kelly is the product of an affair (one of several mind you) that Matthew had while married to B's drop dead gorgeous mother.

I think Beyonce is stunningly beautiful but I wouldn't want to switch sides for any woman. I actually think she looks better with a little weight on her though. I didn't catch the VMA's.

caspar608 said...

I think Pink is an angry woman. At times. SHe doesn't fit the cookie cutter woman mold. But I like her. SHe is smart and talented. SHe was probably rambling about woman who act stupid to sell themselves, etc etc.