Back To the Future; Nice to Meet Me
There are moments in our lives when we look back and realize there are things we would’ve said or done differently. Most times we chalk-up those moments as regrettable mistakes never to be relived and other times we’re afforded the opportunity to see that point in your life from a stage much further along. Ten years ago I had a visit from my first partner while I was living in Maryland. Strangely, on that day, my partner, my man and several friends were visiting my home as well – don’t ask, it was a crazy time in my life. My first partner always had a way of getting under my skin and on this day, under a fit of rage, I dramatically tossed him out of my house with the admonition that I would be lucky never to see him again. He wasn’t feeling well and as he reached the bottom of my front steps he turned and asked if he could at least have a glass of water. Without a moment hesitation, I immediately said, “No, buy water at the nearest store. Just get the heck off my property!” Three years later, when my head cooled and I had a moment of levity, I realized I had overreacted. With the added years of maturity, I jumped on my PC and drafted an apology letter that basically said, I was sorry for being so irrational and that I wished him the best. Last Sunday I ran into my first partner. When I turned to face him, he looked exactly as he did 20 years ago. The added weight complimented his frame and his wide smile immediately melted away years of resentment and immaturity. Rather than saying one word, he hugged me tight and lifted me off the ground. We hugged for what seemed like five minutes before we stepped back from each other to speak. Turns out he read and kept the letter I wrote many years ago and even mentioned keeping every letter I had written him since I was 16. We laughed at issues that in the past had been sparks to ignite our disagreements. Finally, we both agreed how the years had been kind and how lucky we both were to still be here – alive, well and all grown up. As he described who I was in years past, I realized how much I had actually changed. It felt that I was hearing about someone I had never met. We shared pictures and stories of where our families and friends were today and promised to stay in touch. As I walked away from him I felt myself smiling at the reality that people do change and sometimes the remarkable thing is those “people” are me.
Reviewing a movie from 2004 seems absurd, but last night I happened upon The Machinist, starring an emaciated Christian Bale and the detached Jennifer Jason Leigh. As the movie opens Bale, an actor who appears to be over six feet tall and weighing a mere 119 lbs. looks at his battered, drawn and gaunt face in the mirror. It is the beginning of what is apparently self-inflicted physical torture that takes viewers through a dark trail of incidents for close to 2 ½ hours before we untangle the source of his angst. The movie explores the human mind and the extraordinary measures our subconscious can take to bury pain. With the consistent rainy days we’ve been experiencing, this flick is a definite thumbs-up drama that will have you question what secrets you have buried that affect your daily life.
Perceptions…everyone can’t be wrong. What perception do your friends, family, colleagues, etc. have about you that you:
Don’t feel are true
Have some truth, but appear exaggerated when mentioned by these folks
Are dead on, but you don’t have any intention of changing them
Keep passin’ the open windows…