DMV; The Reason for the New 8-Year Renewal Process in NYC
There is something to be said about the service delivery and lack of logical behavior at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Granted, it is a government agency where I’m sure we’re not paying Shakeema, Lolita, Tyreek, Jose and Susan top dollar for their stellar interpersonal skills and professionalism, but can they act as though they’re at the workplace getting paid to perform some type of duty? The long prelude is to openly speak about my experience at the DMV today. I arrived just as the doors opened and was promptly given directions to another location by the security guard, since the DMV location I visited would not process my out-of-state driver’s license and provide me with the Big Apple version. Not sooner than I walked through the doors of the next DMV location when Juwan – I ain’t even making this up, his green and white state issued work ID said, “Juwan Jackson” – asked me to grab a blue and white form and stand in the line to my right. “…but you don’t even know what I’m here for AND I filled-out an on-line form to avoid writing anything during my visit today,” I said. The condescending look I gave him had him step back and say, “Well, uh…bruh, whatchu here for?” I read the signs over his head and said, “I don’t need help thanks.” I walked over to the licensing area and waited for close to an hour. This wouldn’t have been as “serious” as it sounds, but there were less than 10 people in line ahead of me. Fatima, Jayqueeda, Fuquaisha and Lola all joked, openly flirted and ate, while we all stared from behind the ropes in disbelief. All their smiles and chatter disappeared once any customer approached them. They then became stone-faced, bad-weaved fools. When I reached Jayqueeda and furnished my paperwork for the license conversion, she looked me in the face and said, “Fix yo’ face boi…” When I didn’t crack a smile, she became very nervous and visibly irritated. “Well damn. You havin’ a bad day Mr. X?” she continued. “Not until I got here…uh… Jayqueeda [I squinted to read her state ID buried between her sagging breast]. Seems you ladies have a party all day long while working people wait for you guys to get your acts together,” I said in a hushed-I’ll-kill-your-kids tone. She backed up, tapped her itchin-and-flakin’ weave several times. “I’ll get your mean behind out of here as soon as possible,” she mumbled. I smiled and said, “That’s what I like to hear boo-boo. I’m not trying to wreck the flow here at the DMV club, but I have to make my own paper today.” She smiled that so-youz-a-nasty-little-b*tch-ass smile before completing my application process. When she handed me my completed (but picture-less) temporary license, I said, “You girls are a real class act. Normally it would take a night at the bowling alley to meet ladies of your stature. Thanks for all your upstanding help.” My face held a tight smirk that usually sends chills up the spines of serial killers, but Ms. Jay was not amused. “Go on before I have your license revoked,” she laughed. I began my sarcastic giggle before saying “…or I demand more cuts be made to DMV’s budget since they’re obviously overstaffed and under worked,” my laughter growing louder and dripping with sarcasm – I even tapped my right hand on her counter, while holding my stomach with my left hand to punctuate how much my own joke had tickled me. When I looked back at Jayqueeda, she was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Fuquaisha and by the chicken-necking going on she was apparently filling her in on our little exchange. I did the happy gay-boy wave to both the ghetto-girls of DMV, brought my shades down from my head to my eyes and gave Butch-queen-runway-stroll out of there. I won’t see those fools for another eight years…even then it will be too soon.
As I recall, the Department of Motor Vehicles (or Motor Vehicles Association) isn’t much different in any state. In light of the flagrant misuse of perceived power, shouldn’t we as consumers DEMAND that our state do something to revamp the Department of Motor Vehicles so that they operate as any other money generating business does? How can we stop/change a state-run monopoly?
Keep passin’ the open windows…