Thursday, August 16, 2007

Afternoon Edition - 8/16/07

No Wire Hangers; Ever!
With the progression of me and BD’s romance comes the integration of our lives and our responsibilities. First, we manage to find time during the work day to see each other – even if it’s for a brief walk for a few blocks. Second, BD has joined my gym and we are on day three of our work-outs. The new endorphin burst has also added spice to our evening romps and we’re both encouraged to push harder at completing our routines. Last – but certainly not least – is the issue that gives BD his moniker – being a baby daddy. BD has sole custody of his 8-year old son and while our dating has grown in leaps-and-bounds, I’ve managed to skirt spending any quality time with the B- in BD. Our planned trip to Puerto Rico in October will be sans the kid, so BD proposed we take a long weekend to Disney as a threesome. I quickly asked, “Are you sure you’re ready for the three of us hanging together,” and he didn’t miss a beat by responding, “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t ready.” So, the very near future calls for my trying my hand at a completely new interaction – one that calls on my more selfless (m)paternal feelings and can make or break my bond with BD. As someone who always tries to make light of situations that scare me, I asked BD if he would mind if I called the kid – heretofore referred to as the Mini – Christina (a dig at my new role as Mommy Dearest) and he said he thinks I should just call the kid by his name. We both laughed and I said, “Hope he gives me the respect I would get from ANY stranger on the street.”

Long Story Short
Donya W. aka Papoose visited NYC from DC recently and I had an opportunity to share a cup of Starbucks coffee with her and catch up on life in DC, family and friends. The mother of four looked absolutely great and is proving to be Death-Becomes-Her like ageless. It was great seein’ her!
Angela M. of ABA and subsequently Marriott fame has announced that she is raising-up from the hotel giant and making her way back into downtown DC for a new gig. Congrats! Keep in touch as I’m struggling to get down to our nation’s capital in the next two months.
Robert B. – also a DC/ABAer – announced he is beginning his MBA program soon. The 40s, single father of two teen girls is tackling the task of raising his two nieces, working full time and keeping the DC social scene satiated…that last one was a dig, bruh.
Alan F. (my therapist and friend) is currently vacationing in sunny Florida, leaving me to fend for myself for the next eight days. It’s a well deserved vacation for a man who works hard and works hard at being a loyal pal. I miss ya’!
Mercy B. and I are exploring the idea of figure skating classes to begin this fall at Chelsea Piers here in NYC. I have my own skates and have been stretching and strengthening my core in preparation for my professional-style Bielman. Watch out Sasha Cohen!

On Blast
Children are not always as ignorant as they appear and many have a pretty good idea of what’s going on in their household and their environment. That said, in your opinion, how should a gay parent tackle the issue of dating as it relates to their children? Is it appropriate to explain gay dating to a minor – especially one less than 10 years of age? Is it best to keep the scene under wraps and hope the questions never come up?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

its not appropriate to discuss your dating life with children under 10 at all. Matter of fact, its only appropriate when the kids are in their teens. until then, its just friends and be very selective who you expose your children to .... that means no sloppy kisses. hugs are fine. hugs are good and represent warmth. gay, straight whatever a parent is....your dating/love life/sexual escapades should be left to yourself. the kids don't need to know. the kids do need to know that they are the center of the parents life and no one is more important.
Cas608

Anonymous said...

OK! I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS BD/COCOA SAGGA FOR A GOOD MINUTE. HERE'S THE DEAL: "COCOA I LOVE YOU LIKE MAD, YOU KNOW THIS BUT I HAVE TO SCOLD YOU. FIRST YOU MUST START BY ACKNOWLEDGING THE CHILD; START CALLING HIM BY HIS GIVEN NAME. SECOND IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT 'BD' THEN REALIZE THAT THEY ARE A PACKAGE DEAL WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO START "IMMEDIATELY" INCLUDING THE CHILD PERIODICALLY IN YOUR OUTINGS...BONDING WITH HIM....IT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN ON SCHEDULED VISITS. AND THE BOY DOESN'T NEED TO HAVE THE "EXPLAINED" TO HIM AT THIS TIME. WHEN HE'S READY YOU'LL KNOW. BY ALL MEANS YOU CAN SHOW 'APPROPRIATE' AFFECTION AROUND HIM. TAKE THE BLINDERS OFF BOO AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE HEADED UP THE LOVE CHANNEL AT FULL SPEED. DRIVE CAREFULLY....LOL.

LOVE YA,
KRISALMIGHTY

Anonymous said...

I MEANT TO SAY THE BOY DOESN'T NEED TO HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP "EXPLAINED" TO HIM AT THIS TIME.

KRISALMIGHTY

EsLocura said...

I think you answer questions with honesty and age appropriate words. I don't think there is a need to explain anything unless asked. Developing a relationship with the kid should be a normal transition of things. nothing forced just a natural happening built on the fact that you have a vested interest in his father. Kids are wise and observant, if you are true and real they know, if you are faking they know. Just approach it from his point of view, a friendship built on knowing you both love his father. And always remembering to respect the kid and the fact that his relationship with his dad is and should always be top priority.

Joey Bahamas said...

I say let the kid know that you could very well be his next moth...i mean father....figure...lol. They know what's going on especially when their parents are happy. I hope you two get along well...

By the way...I'm back from my break...lol...mwah!

Joey Bahamas

KennonPurdy said...

Good Kuck, I dont do children at all! To much time, money and headaches

Coy said...

Kids are a lot more aware than most adults believe. Just be ready
to accept the child just as much as you are ready to accept his father so be open to getting to know him as an individual and not just because he's BD's child. It's a beautiful journey you are about to embark on. Children are a blessing. Good Luck Cocoa!

yet another black guy said...

i've been there and done that, so i can tell you that while the Mini may be aware of you and BD being good friends, he does not know the nature of your relationship unless BD broke it down and explained it to him.