Monday, August 20, 2007

Morning Edition - 8/20/07

And Then There Were Three
Friday evening BD and I headed out from the office and had dinner before calling it a night. He excitedly announced that we would get together Saturday and he would cook dinner and make it a movie night. It sounded like a welcome plan since we were both looking forward to a night of chilliin’. Unfortunately, the Mini’s mom did not keep to her plan of keeping the kid and when I spoke with BD on Saturday he was frustrated and upset that he had to cancel our plans. I repeatedly mentioned that I wasn’t at all put-out by the cancellation and that he shouldn’t worry about having our night some other time. By Sunday, BD was tight (street-speak for really pissed-off) and said he was going to take a cab ride over to Mini’s mom’s house to drop the kid. He was especially upset at the Mini being disappointed by the lack of attention from his mom. I told BD I’d drive him over, since if the mom was there we could just have our dinner date after all. As the Mini and BD got in the car I greeted both and nervously smiled and made small talk on our way to the mom’s crib. As luck would have it, she wasn’t home and looking at the Mini’s face when he returned to the car, I saw he was distraught. We drove a couple of blocks before I heard his soft sighs and whimpers. I looked in my rearview mirror to see the tears streaming down his face and immediately pulled over and asked BD to sit in the back seat with him to comfort him. I suddenly felt an enormous pang of anger as I watched BD with the Mini in his arms trying to explain that mommy was “probably just really busy…” How can a mom do this, I thought. Then suddenly I knew I had to be the one to change the mood. I remembered that BD said that the Mini absolutely loves Burger King. “I don’t know about you guys, but I could sure eat some BKs right about now,” I said. The Mini looked at me and smiled through his tears. “What do you think,” I continued. “Yeah…let’s have Burger King,” the Mini screeched. For the record, I absolutely hate Burger King and the food gives me menstrual-like cramps, but someone had to take one for the team. We ordered our meals, sat down and shared our fries and onion rings with our burgers. I laughed and made silly jokes and the Mini and I connected in a way that I never thought would happen so soon. Immediately afterward, the Mini said we should get some ice cream from the next door Baskin Robbins shop. “That’s enough…unless you’re going to pay, we’re not having ice cream,” BD playfully said to the Mini. “Here’s my plan…” I immediately chimed in. “You’ll distract the lady behind the counter and tell her you can’t find your daddy,” my animation grew as I continued my instructions, “while you have her distracted I’ll jump behind the counter and scoop out our favorite ice cream and we’ll run to the car,” I finished. The Mini laughed and said, “You’re nuts. I don’t think we can pull it off.” “Nonsense,” I said, serious and determined. “Just remember the plan and stay in character.” As we reached the door to the Baskin Robbins, BD said, “Fine, I’ll pay for the darn ice cream!” I looked at the Mini and winked, “See, we got our ice cream!” He started chuckling and dangled off my arm as we chose our favorite flavors. We then sat in the shop window and took spoonfuls of each other’s cups as we chuckled away and acted silly. I looked over at BD and he was smiling, but his eyes were filled with tears. He mouthed the words, “Thank you.” We left the parlor and hit the sneaker shop for some window shopping, the Mini riding piggy back and joking with me the entire time. When I finally pulled up to BD’s place to drop them off, the Mini asked if I was coming in. He seemed excited – like he had made a new best friend. “Nah…you guys go ahead, I have a lot to do at home,” I said. “Please call me when you get home. You just don’t know how I’m feeling right now,” BD said. As I drove home I was still disappointed that the Mini had to experience a neglectful mom, but I understood that some things happen for a reason. I was given the opportunity to meet the Mini and be myself because it was such an impromptu meeting. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences I’ve had in recent memory. BD called shortly after I got in and said, “I’m so glad you two hit it off so well and I immediately saw your paternal instincts kick-in. You just don’t know how much it meant for you to turn this afternoon around and more even that the Mini likes you so much.” I felt a frog in my throat and simply said, “The pleasure was all mine. Thank you for sharing him with me.” He then said, “The Mini asked me where you live…” I said, “Tell him I live right here…” and point to your chest, I instructed. Yeah, looks like we’re officially at stage 3.

On Blast
This relationship – and yeah, I think I should start looking at it that way – is completely different from anything I’ve experienced in the past. It holds so many different facets – physical lust, emotional fulfillment and now the sense of me as part of a family unit. I’m so grateful and full to be where I am right now. I’m feeling that my past was preparing me for BD and this moment.
How do you believe your past has prepared you to appreciate and enjoy where you are today?

Keep passin’ the open windows…


Listening to: If You Asked Me To

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow Coco...I'm so proud of how you took charge of what could have been a disasterous evening and turned it into making a sad little boy smile ear to ear and feel like he was the most important thing in the world. How completely unselfish of you...my heart is smiling for you three right now. Love you!!

~Kahlua~

Anonymous said...

Hey Coco, it's me your buddy from the other day. I'm so happy you felt comfortable with the child and showed him the "little boy" that lives in you. That's what makes you such a great person because you know how to have fun and enjoy life. I totally agree with you that your past experiences "mold" you for the future ones. Because with each relationship you learn a little bit more about yourself and what you want in a healthy, beautiful and nuturing committment.
Always remember in a relationship you both grow together not apart.

Adam said...

Cocoa... I'm so happy that you're so happy!!! You really deserve it. I’ve seen some of the hills you’ve had to climb… literally.

On the relationship thing... Remember a couple years back, when we were all sitting in Outback, and you guys were all making fun of me for my sappy comment ("If I could take the best parts of everyone I've ever been with, they would all add up to Tom.)? Well, I'm glad that you can now understand where I was coming from.

All your previous experiences, good and bad, tell you what you want and need in a relationship. When you finally find it, it's like magic. Then every time you open you mouth, daisies and sunshine fall out. Yeah, it makes everyone sick for a while, but F them. You're happy and that's all that matters. I advise anyone who finds that completed puzzle to hold on tight and never let him/her go.

lala said...

Hector, your story had me in tears. I am so proud of you. Way to step up to the plate! You will be a wonderful parent to some lucky child one day. From the sound of things...it could very well be to Mini. Keep up the good work and be that shoulder that BD and Mini need!

jwilli said...

you made their day. and reading your story this morning has made mine.

Cocoa Rican said...

Thanks folks...truth is, it's not pride I feel, but so completely grateful for sharing that event.
Adam... you are so right and I remember that Outback convo! LOL I was really jaded and broken at the time and probably couldn't smell the roses in your garden for the shit in mine... :)
I am very happy right now and as I told BD, if it all ended now, I wouldn't regret a thing because it has been SO worth it! Hope to come down and see you and Tom soon!

Anonymous said...

It’s undeniable that we should be together
It’s unbelievable, how I used to say that I’d fall never
The basis is need to know
If you just don’t know how I feel
Then let me show you that now I’m for real
If all the things in time, time will reveal
Yeah

one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one

It’s so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional, once you know what it’s all about, hey
And undesirable, for us to be apart
I never would’ve made it very far
’cause you know you got the keys to my heart
’cause...

one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one

Say farewell to the dark of night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child, whose life has just begun
You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the life line
Just in the nick of time


I think that song can sum up what just happened. WHat a lovely day! : )

Love, Cas608

Kensilo said...

awww.... you turned Mini's disappointment into a uplifting and fun day. That was wonderful you should feel proud!

Dayne Avery said...

I agree. Life has a way of polishing you through the good and bad times in order to prepare your shine when something good comes along.

Anonymous said...

HEY COCOA: YOU KNOW I'VE KNOW YOU FOR THE BETTER PART OF 20 YEARS....WELL BOY I'M LOVING THE MAN THAT YOU HAVE BECOME. I'M GLAD THAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH BD AND MINI. LOVE YOU!!!

KRISALMIGHTY(CHRISTOPHER)

yet another black guy said...

what a great day and great story. dude, that's awesome, i smiled the reading the whole post!

Darius T. Williams said...

WOW - um, that's hot!

Joey Bahamas said...

Ooooh Man Coco!!!!!!!! That was just fabulous!!!!!!!! I'm sitting in my seat at working grinning ear to ear!!! I'm so happpppppy!!!! I want to cry a lil. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! LOL

Ty said...

That was really nice. Maybe I'll go do something nice today..... well, I'll think about it. loL

That Dude Right There said...

Now this is one of the reason that I want to have kids. I can imagine the light in his eyes when you suggested Burger King. Kids are amazing.

life said...

Loved this story