Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 6/1/05

On Blast
Today we’re putting, yet another, anonymous posting On Blast with: I’m a die hard reality TV junky and admit to being one of the five American people watching “Britney & Kevin – Chaotic”. In last night’s episode, she tells him that she loves him and he does not respond. In next week’s episode, he reveals that Britney proposed to him. She is [apparently] throwing herself at Kevin and it’s so obvious that he is not feeling her at all. Why do you think women/men ignore the warning signs? Are we desperate for love? Do we think once we get into a relationship with this person, we can change them?

Maybe today isn’t a great day for me to give advice, since I’m at the end of my rapidly fraying rope, but here goes…
First, when you hook-up (begin dating) someone, you’ll get a general feel for how they express themselves and, more important, if they’re an affectionate person. Not everyone is touchy-feely or an emotional booger. That said, what you may interpret as cold, distant or aloof, may be just the way the man handles his business. Everyone should be aware of what works for them – if you like affection and attention, then it may not be a good idea to get with a physically “cold” person.

Conversely, there is another reason behind the behavior you’re asking about. I call it the “predatory” syndrome. This is when a person shows signs of flight (more like flightiness) and triggers our “predator” instinct to chase and acquire them. You’ll see this behavior particularly in folks that are used to being chased and are suddenly faced with someone who shows little interest. The object for the “predator” is to make the “prey” fall for them, thus completing the self-appreciating feeling that no one can reject their advances or the concept of everyone-eventually-falls-in-love-with-me. Unfortunately, the predatory drive can lead a perfectly secure and self-assured person to turn into a stalking and chasing freak. Most times the object of their immediate “hunt” would not normally be worthy of their attention – but because they appear to be “running” the predator will chase. You’ll notice that the folks you fall the hardest for and are hurt the worse by, are those that keep you at bay. Those that gave you their full attention and affection are rarely the object of your obsession. Those that act aloof, slightly removed and keep you at arms length are the very ones you pursue the hardest. Britney and many of us will learn the hard way, that once the prey stops running OR we tire of hunting unworthy prey we can focus on someone that gives you just enough excitement, attention, affection and love to keep you interested and turned-on.

Yes anonymous, there are also the hard-up and desperate types, but we're hoping none of them have made their way into our midsts ;)

Keep passin’ the open windows…

1 comment:

caspar608 said...

You need to go back to school and study PSYCHOLOGY/PSYCHIATRY. Well said Hector.
Take Shahiem for instance. I could not believe he would not call me back simply because I did not take him grocery shopping. Now, I didn't stalk of hunt him down. But it was painfully obvious I was out of his league because I don't need anyone to take my grown woman ass grocery shopping. But it was apalling that he had the nerve to give ME his ass to kiss. Amazing analysis. I am very proud of you Papi.