Afternoon Edition - 6/13/05 - On Blast

On Blast
Today we’re putting Freaking Rican On Blast with: You know me, I am vivacious, funny, volup2us and damn sexy, why is it that men find women like me unapproachable? Damn do I have to act desperate for a man to even walk up to me and say "Hello". What's up with that? I am an old fashion girl and strongly believe a guy should ask a girl out...Where are these brothers?

Dear Dateless-In-The-Apple:
With your list of attributes you would think that guys would be drop-kicking each other to get to you, but obviously they’re not and here may be some reasons why. First, understand that men have the same batch of insecurities and fear of rejection issues as women. The very thought of having my face cracked by someone at a club or bar will keep me from going over to introduce myself. Getting around this is somewhat simple – be receptive, without conveying the I’m-a-hooker-lay-me vibe. This means you should make eye contact with parties you are interested in, smile coyly – don’t overdo it - and repeat the steps until the message is read. Second, visit venues that cater to the type of man you’re interested in. If you don’t like a club-goer or drinker, then bars and clubs may not be the best place to cast your net. Gyms, smaller house parties and even church services tend to be great places to meet decent men. Don’t appear easy. Though you may think you’re the bell-of-the-ball, the truth is men don’t want what everyone else has – or could potentially have – for themselves. A man always believes the true catch is one that doesn’t appear easy to land. Hey, easy comes-easy goes and we prefer thinking our woman (or man) will not be easily distracted by another potential date. Finally, courting (dating) is a sinuous dance. A man wants a woman who appears interested, but not one who is selling the farm on the first night. You should give him attention, but not be the lady with the telephone ear-piece pasted to the side of your head waiting for his call. Before arriving at the dating-dance-hall you should ask yourself: What do I want from a man? What qualities MUST I have to be happy in a relationship? What issues are completely unacceptable in a potential mate? Be realistic… you’re not Angelina Jolie and he won’t be Brad Pitt… learn to compromise. Never think you’ll change anyone and certainly don’t give them the impression that you will change key elements of yourself to make them happy either. Most importantly, loosen up. If you’re uptight about dating you will give verbal and physical cues that will set-off red flags to the men who engage you. Be confident, remain cool, be yourself and know that the best partners show up when we least expect them. Well, at least that’s what I’m experiencing…. Rufus Sidebar: When we want an easy lay, we’ll hit the easy-going person who doesn’t ask too much of us. This is usually the person who’s been stroking our egos all night – and probably everything else – and has our testosterone at a boil. Also, the pool of pooty being thrown at us lately by desperate women who don’t mind sharing a man and don’t ask questions is ridiculous. Women have undermined their own situation by playing against each other and making it a cake-walk for men who want to run y’all ragged. Stick to your guns, get a nice ugly man to tie-your-over until the right one arrives and know that in the end you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

Keep passin’ the open windows…