Monday, June 13, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 6/13/05 - On Blast

On Blast
Today we’re putting Freaking Rican On Blast with: You know me, I am vivacious, funny, volup2us and damn sexy, why is it that men find women like me unapproachable? Damn do I have to act desperate for a man to even walk up to me and say "Hello". What's up with that? I am an old fashion girl and strongly believe a guy should ask a girl out...Where are these brothers?

Dear Dateless-In-The-Apple:
With your list of attributes you would think that guys would be drop-kicking each other to get to you, but obviously they’re not and here may be some reasons why. First, understand that men have the same batch of insecurities and fear of rejection issues as women. The very thought of having my face cracked by someone at a club or bar will keep me from going over to introduce myself. Getting around this is somewhat simple – be receptive, without conveying the I’m-a-hooker-lay-me vibe. This means you should make eye contact with parties you are interested in, smile coyly – don’t overdo it - and repeat the steps until the message is read. Second, visit venues that cater to the type of man you’re interested in. If you don’t like a club-goer or drinker, then bars and clubs may not be the best place to cast your net. Gyms, smaller house parties and even church services tend to be great places to meet decent men. Don’t appear easy. Though you may think you’re the bell-of-the-ball, the truth is men don’t want what everyone else has – or could potentially have – for themselves. A man always believes the true catch is one that doesn’t appear easy to land. Hey, easy comes-easy goes and we prefer thinking our woman (or man) will not be easily distracted by another potential date. Finally, courting (dating) is a sinuous dance. A man wants a woman who appears interested, but not one who is selling the farm on the first night. You should give him attention, but not be the lady with the telephone ear-piece pasted to the side of your head waiting for his call. Before arriving at the dating-dance-hall you should ask yourself: What do I want from a man? What qualities MUST I have to be happy in a relationship? What issues are completely unacceptable in a potential mate? Be realistic… you’re not Angelina Jolie and he won’t be Brad Pitt… learn to compromise. Never think you’ll change anyone and certainly don’t give them the impression that you will change key elements of yourself to make them happy either. Most importantly, loosen up. If you’re uptight about dating you will give verbal and physical cues that will set-off red flags to the men who engage you. Be confident, remain cool, be yourself and know that the best partners show up when we least expect them. Well, at least that’s what I’m experiencing…. Rufus Sidebar: When we want an easy lay, we’ll hit the easy-going person who doesn’t ask too much of us. This is usually the person who’s been stroking our egos all night – and probably everything else – and has our testosterone at a boil. Also, the pool of pooty being thrown at us lately by desperate women who don’t mind sharing a man and don’t ask questions is ridiculous. Women have undermined their own situation by playing against each other and making it a cake-walk for men who want to run y’all ragged. Stick to your guns, get a nice ugly man to tie-your-over until the right one arrives and know that in the end you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

18 comments:

FREAKING RICAN said...

Oh Damn! Reading your response just shows me that trying to get a mans attention is too much damn work. Fcuk it! Caspar you are right, my man is out there! The Lord is preparing me for him and Him for me because which ever man the Lord has prepared for me will have to be a man with some big balls to be able to handle this Puerto Rican Mama! Lord have mercy! To much damn drama just to get a man to clean the pipes here and there...Wholly Molly!

Anonymous said...

Maybe women have to take acting lessons, this way we'll know which type of woman they want and then we can switch on them to make it more interesting/challenging.

Dancel in distress victim, to indpendent woman, to Needy, to kick a$$ athletic woman, to mother figure, to freaky in bed.

In other words we have to learn to be Sibil w/multiple personalities so it can attract their attention. Are you all feeling me - at least that how I feel about. Krissy - YO

caspar608 said...

I'm EVERY WOMAN. It's all in me..........

FREAKING RICAN said...

You know Coco I am not going to let you off that easy...What I really want to know is what in the world are these boys thinking that they will choose a scank(?) over a great down to earth woman! Your response is exactly what I do, I smile and give lite conversation try not to show too much interest and the brother still doesn't get it even though I caught his dumb A$$ checking me out as soon as I walked in. What the Fcuk! What is a man really thinking when you catch him checking you out and you try to show some sort of subtlety instead of acting the damn fool. This is what I really want to know.

Cocoa Rican said...

I'm not every woman, but it's still All-In-Me... that said, y'all need to get with the program. Since gay men make up only 10% of the male population, you're working with 90% more men than I am - roughly speaking, wink, wink! Get with the program ladies! Get off your vuluptuous a$$es and do your thing! Whatchu waitin' for? Here's a clue: There's little chance that your handsome, intelligent, knight in shining armor will come knocking on your project door to scoop you up! Enough said.

FREAKING RICAN said...

Yo,

You know for a fact that I am all that and them some just by my Exes still trying to get into my pants or back into my life. So I can switch and be a freak, a sec later a saint, a nun, a teacher, a mother,girl I can go on and on and these dumb a$$ still don't know what they want. Please COCO please tell me what in the world do we ladies have to do to get some damn attention without seeming so damn needy! I truly think it's the strong, independent type that they are all afraid of. I would love to meet a man that is not afraid of having a woman like me on his arm and him knowing when he walks with me that he has a QUEEN on this arm.....and he adores the ground I walk on and I in return can say the same about him. Where is he :(

donya said...

Freaking Rican I too am all of what you are and then some and I all I seem to attract is the dirty old men or the really young boys. It is especially hard when you at one point was dealing with someone that did treat you like that queen that you are. But I look at it like this there was one and there will be another. I am not going to be fake for any man. If my children need me than he must deal with that. If my family needs then he must deal with that. I have to be excepted for me with all my pluses and minuses.

FREAKING RICAN said...

Donya, you go girl! Don't change for no one. I am sure you are as good as it get and if them knucleheads can't get with it then let them go ahead and move along let a real man come forth! Girl, I with you on this one. They have to take me as I am...ALL WOMAN!

Lady Long Legs said...

I know someone is going to have words for me but I have to say it. We have some stank azz women & men out there with no standards. Fortunately, I'm not single but if I had to date in this time and age, I would be playing with the kitty kat every night because it’s too scary out there. A lot of women & men have lowered the bar on standards. I assume a lot of men are thinking why waste their time on someone with intelligence, looks, personality & a strong future when all they really want is a quick fuck so they can go home to their wife and kids?


FR - stay strong and confident. The right man is out there for you - the key is to stop searching, he will find you.

Cocoa Rican said...

Honestly... I've been single for over two years now and have found that dating can be tricky, but it's when I was very hard on myself and others (the first six months of being single) that I had a difficult time dating. Today, I don't date as often as my friends - simply because I'm not as interested in having different partners - but I do date a "healthy" couple of folks and it's all on the up-and-up. I sincerely am not looking for a life-long partner, but if they'll come along, I'm sure we'll both know it. In the meantime, It's like a ball game and they umpire just called "Ball 3!"

KRISALMIGHTY said...

BE A LADY AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET A GENT....BE A SCANK AND YOU WILL GET FUCKED REPEATEDLY AND OFTEN :). THEY SAY MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. THE REAL TRUTH IS MOST MEN ARE RAISED TO USE INTIMACY(WINING, DINING, CONVERSATION, RELATIONSHIP) TO GET SEX WHILEMOST WOMEN ARE RAISED TO PROMISE SEX TO GET INTIMACY. SOMETIMES WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE AND WANT THE SAME THING. MOST MEN ARE NOT NATURALLY DRAWN TO COMMIT....THEY ARRIVE AT IT...WHILE FOR MOST WOMEN IT IS FRUIT OF LIFE. MEN HAVE NO CLUE WHAT WOMEN WANT BUT THEY HATE BEING MANIPULATED INTO WHAT EVER IT IS. WOMEN WORK AGAINST EACH OTHER AND THAT PLAYS DIRECTLY INTO A MAN'S GAME PLAN. WOMEN HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO KEEP A MAN ONCE YOU CAPTURE HIS ATTENTION. DON'T GO AFTER A MAN LIKE HE IS FOOD. DON'T GO AFTER A MAN LIKE HE IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HAPPINESS. DON'T GO AFTER A MAN LIKE "ONE BITE OF YOUR APPLE WILL GET HIM HOOKED". TAKE SOME OF THE RESPONSIBILITY IN THE ENCOUNTER. DON'T ACT DESPERATE. DON'T ACT COY. DON'T ACT LIKE YOUR BODY IS A NEGOTIATING ASSET. DON'T ACT PERIOD. MEN ARE TWO-DEMENTIONAL. MAKE HIM WANT TO DATE YOU. REMEMBER YOU ARE WHO HWE IS LOOKING FOR....HE DOESN'R KNOW IT YET. MEN HAVE IT HARD TOO. IT TAKES A LOT BALLS TO WALK UP TO A STRANGE WOMAN AN SAY 'HELLO'. HE COULD GET HIS BALLS GROUNDED INTO DUST AND HANDED BACK TO HIM.....AND LADIES THAT HURTS LIKE HELL....IT TAKES MONTS TO BGAKE A NEW SET OF BALLS TO GO BACK OUT THERE...BUT MEN TAKE THAT CHANCE E'RRYDAY. I GUESS IN THE END MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN EACH OTHER.

caspar608 said...

Honestly, I have three beautiful babies. The majority out there cannot compare to the love (and headaches) I get from my chirrens. One came close, but I told ya'll about him a couple of blasts ago...you know the half/half brother with freckles who asked me for ten dollars when he "forgot" to stop at the ATM...
I adored him, but if you can look in my face and see that I am trying to raise three kids and their Dad isn't around at the moment how dare you even make that request? I would love to meet someone to go to the movies with, out to dance, occassionally dinner - whatever. But it really isn't easy to meet someone who can appreciate the many roles I have to take on in order to make everyone happy. And for the record, I don't live in the PJ's, but I have kinfolk that do....

Cocoa Rican said...

Dear Babbling Bitches:
I love you all... I really do, but take Mrs. Smith (Angelina Jolie) character for example. Strong, sexy, determined and a minimum amount of bitchin' and moanin'. For the record - and in my "man" role - dudes hate the whining! Be strong, be sensitive, be self-sufficient and like Clavin K. said, "Just Be" I don't wanna hear another line about... ewwww, where is he? ewwww... when is he gonna talk to me? ewww, when is he gonna rescue me? ewww... when is he gonna do right? Shut-up! Go find the one you want, be cute, be coy, have fun and drop his a$$ when he acts a fool - PERIOD! You know it's bad when the gay men have to tell you to cut the drama. DAMN! What's really going on?!?!?

caspar608 said...

ok party people....I have a potential blast....
There's a boy, I know - he's the one I dream of uh-huh. Looks into my eyes...OK! enough of the Whitneyisms.
There is this man and work and good God almighty, I have to squeeze my legs together every time I look at him. We flirted over IM's a few weeks back...like two crazy horny people. When I told him he was too young for me he politely advised me that I was all talk and that I could do all the screamnin I wanted to out in Jersey (in his house). Lawd, I was ready to pass out. This IM went on and on and on and clearly it was his intention (at the time) to get me to his crib and make me scream (I should have gone, I know). Now he's playing it off like he was just playing. I feel kind of silly, but at the same time, every time he comes over to me to talk to me or ask me something he LOOKS RIGHT INTO MY EYES. Deliberately...I know my nipples are like POW! but I do not know what to do with this fool. Advice!!!!!!!!

Cocoa Rican said...

MICHAEL JACKSON NOT GUILTY - ACQUITTED OF ALL CHARGES! Well, ladies... line up ... well, line up your kids.

LOL :)

Cocoa Rican said...

In passing Caspar mentioned a funny thing... what if you're not reading these men correctly and it turns out they just don't want yo' azz? Has that occurred to anyone? What if no one is interested in yo' strong, volumptuous azz?! What if.....
What if my aunt had ballz?!!!

caspar608 said...

On that note Cocoa, I'm hitting the gym.

Anonymous said...

Michael Jackson said that he's so happy that he is gonna celebrate at Boy's Club of America and all of the Cub Scouts can come, drinks are on him.