Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 6/8/05

On Blast
Today, we’re putting anonymous On Blast with: What makes some confident and others not that is a question to ask and entertain. Childhood issues, mean people, ETC. how do u go above that. HOW DO WE DEVELOP THE ATTITUDE I MEAN I KNOW IT'S 90% ATTITUDE AND 10% WHAT U KNOW BUT HOW DO WE DEVELOP THE MUSCLES OF CONFIDENCE?

KrisAlmighty said it best in his Morning Edition comments - true confidence begins with solid home nurturing. STAGE 1: If you are raised in an environment where folks tell you you’re attractive, intelligent, etc., there is a good probability that these views of yourself will continue throughout your life. There is a period during our school years where the perception of our peers plays an intricate role in questioning what we’ve been told at home, but youngsters who have had a positive upbringing tend to be better equipped to deal with outside negative attacks.

STAGE 2: Relationships (and sometimes the lack thereof) also play an enormous role in confidence. More often than not, we believe that folks we’re in a relationship with have our best interest at heart. This would mean that if my partner begins mentioning that I’m getting a little “thick” around the middle, I’ll take it as an honest assessment to work at staying in shape. Unfortunately, as many of you have experienced, some partners do not have our best interest at heart and operate on envy, insecurity, etc. In their effort to deflate your confidence they will basically point out flaws that either don’t exist or exist only in their eyes. Building on stage 1, we must know ourselves. Know what you’re attributes are and recognize that confidence carries its own lure. A confident ugly brother is easily more attractive than a “looker” with low self esteem. Project confidence (even when you don’t feel so hot) and others will step in to co-sign your confidence bill.

STAGE 3: Being booty. This is when you’re not a looker, you’re not in shape and you’re intelligence quotient (IQ) challenged. In these cases, it’s important to focus on other aspects of your person that can make you attractive and charming – ie. A sense of humor, a God-given talent (come on, he can’t be that cruel) or a go-getter attitude. Many women have “sense of humor” as one of their top wants in a man. Take note – being funny can get your more in life than being brilliant.

STAGE 4: Failure. When all else has failed and you just don’t have any confidence it’s important to seek some professional help. All jokes aside, having extremely low confidence makes you a sitting duck for yesterday’s On Blast topic (opportunistic folks). Like someone who cuts herself / himself and then decides to jump in shark infested waters, let me be the first to say, bandage that thing first. The life you save may be your own.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

7 comments:

Jeanine said...

Excellent advice Cocoa! Self confidence does start at home and it follows that self confidence requires self love.

I hate to sound like an old battleaxe but these young girls nowadays don't love or respect themselves and that's why they behave the way they do. A confident young lady knows that every man isn't worthy of her goodies and she loves & respects herself enough to be selective.

Happy B-day Caspar! From one Gemini to another, enjoy your day girl. I'm looking forward to mine 11 days! GO GEMINI IT'S YO BIRFDAY! PS tell your son that they'll be wishing they were nice to him in 10 years...stay focused on what's important and all else will follow!

Anonymous said...

I was one whose mother said to her that I was ugly when I was born & MY 2sisters (from different DAD WHO IS MY DAD SINCE I WAS 4YRS OLD & STILL IS - I AM BLESSED) were beautiful especially my middle one. It has been only 6 yrs now that I find myself somewhat pretty & am embracing my looks more each day although the Ugly perception has impacted me heavily & at times still lingers it has also lessened & is loosing it's grip - NOW I AM JUST DEALING W/GETTING OLDER WRINKLES YUK.

My 2 sisters are beautiful & I am very different from them in many ways, so I always try to do things to make up for my "ugliness". My middle sister (mom's favorite w/her beauty) looks like Jay-LO no joke.

My point to all this is that yes WORDS ARE LIKE DAGGERS & ARE EXTREMELY POWERFUL & CAN CAUSE DAMAGE LIKE IT HAS TO ME & MANY OTHER PEOPLE & OUR JOB AS PARENTS IS NOT AN EASY ONE. I have a beautiful 13 yr old daughter & since she was little, because of my experience, I put her infront of the mirror & told her she was beautiful so now forget it w/age & hormones she knows she's Beautiful. Caspar you are doing a beautiful job showing your son, supporting him & giving him the confidence to choose an empowering path for himself. One thing I see missing in many families is SUPPORT when u hv the support of family in different levels I truly believe that adds to your confidence & ability to deal with the worlds gun fire.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASPER IT WAS GREAT MEETING U LET ME SEE YOUR SIGN IS TAURUS & MANGIA WAS GREAT.

3:23 PM

Cocoa Rican said...

First your mom thinks you're ugly and you prove yourself to be dumb... May 21 through June 20 are Geminis. ...I'm kidding though nena! :) If I was str8 and a masochist I'd chase ya'!

caspar608 said...

First of all Ms. Honey YOU are a knockout. Don't believe any of the bs you heard at home or elsewhere. The food at Mangia, however, was overpriced.
Don't waste another day thinking you are anything but gorgeous. Once you have discovered your true beauty, so will everyone else.
And thank you for wishing me a happy birthday. My birthday wish is for all of you to feel loved at all times, every minute of every day.

Cocoa Rican said...

Hey Caspar... what are you running for Mrs. America?! I mean fo' real! :)

Yo-Yo... stop tryin' to get people to blow that already swollen head up!

Love ya' though...

caspar608 said...

Congratulate, emulate and appreciate Cocoa.
If there is a pageant for 6 ft tall size 14 women with big fat booties who are slightly imperfect, hell yes I am running for that prize. Will you represent and do my pr for me when I win. I WILL NOT LOSE.

caspar608 said...
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