Thursday, June 09, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 6/9/05 - On Blast

On Blast
Today we’re putting Yo-Yo On Blast with: What do u think determines a person success, self worth & sense of completion? Meaning I personally am noticing (& I know this maybe silly & at some level wrong, but nevertheless it's true for me that although I have unconditional love from my daughter & family there is still something missing where I don't feel complete unless I have (duh, what I think is love from a man). In other words I am discovering (and I don't like admitting it) that I don't feel complete, unless I have a man that loves me in my life. I feel alone, abandoned, unwanted and yet FOR THOSE THAT KNOW ME I AM TRULY BLESSED WITH MY DAUGHTER, FAMILY AND UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF GREAT FRIENDS I HAVE. YET TO BE HONEST TO MYSELF & PUT IT OUT THERE HONESTLY I STILL FEEL ALONE.

Well Yo, this subject is very relative. That is, an individual’s idea of success, self-worth and feeling that he/she is whole (or what you term, “sense of completion”) is affected by many different factors. One factor would be the nurture issue raised during yesterday’s On Blast confidence discussion. If you are raised to feel good about yourself, you will more-than-likely strive to reach levels of success that make you feel fulfilled and whole. From that point forward this issue gets a bit muddy because levels of success and a feeling of being complete change based on simple things like geography or culture. In one culture, merely finishing school and working a “decent” blue collar jobs that has benefits, can be considered an enormous accomplishment and a sign of success, while other cultures view higher education, white collar professional positions and material wealth as signs of success. Also, in the Latino culture, for example, women were taught that every “complete” woman has a man by her side. A woman is encouraged to meet her man and marry him before she is in her mid-thirties or she is labeled an old maid. While in White American culture women virtually reach 40 before considering marriage.

So here’s the skinny on this issue… recognize that you set the bar for how successful, fulfilled and complete you feel. Know that unless you are a conjoined twin sharing vital organs, you don’t NEED anyone to survive or be complete. Allow yourself to experience the highs-and-lows of life and stop using others as your personal Zoloft prescription – no one can make you feel great about you 24/7 – not even you! Unconditional love from family and friends – and excuse me, but I don’t believe human love is ever completely unconditional – still needs to be respected. Your family and friends aren’t the “but” and “yet” of all your “…TRULY BLESSED WITH MY DAUGHTER, FAMILY AND UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF GREAT FRIENDS I HAVE YET TO BE HONEST TO MYSELF…” Your family and friends are what’s good. They are what comforts you and supports you when you need someone there. Learn that your mate should always be the icing on the cake. They should make your life sweeter, but without the substance of a good cake, the icing would be just plain sugary gook that will eventually rot your teeth out – or in your case, rot your life!

Note to Freaking Rican: Please feel free to pick up where I left off honey.. I'm having contractions :)

Enough said… I mean, keep passin’ the open windows…

Sidebar: Cuca/Yo-Yo…no more Spanish food during lunch. This On Blast is late because I’ve been too busy sounding like I was playing the soundtrack to Drumline in the men’s room – sorry folks, I just had to keep it real!


Jeanine said...

Hahaha! Cocoa playing the butt trumpet in the men's room!

Thanks for the afternoon laugh!


O.k. YO Coco Loco gave it to you in the point of view that you would get from a psychotherapist. I on the other hand will give it to you straight...Damn girl there is no amount of "Dick" in the world that can make you think that you can't stand on your own without the love of a man! I have known you for about 15 years and you have always been in a relationship you have never given yourself time to "STOP" and think what a wonderful, loving and beautiful woman you are! (you know if I was gay I would make you my Bytch!)Stop the madness girl and stop being a victim! Now, I will let you stay n your pitty party for about another 2 seconds and now you should be off! Stop feeling like you are not worth being loved. Like you said you have great friends that support you in all that you do we try not to judge you when you make those "Dumb" men decisions but we let you be because everyone has to learn from their own mistakes but girl "Enough" already! Stop the madness and start loving yourself and complete who you are by being with yourself. You have some great, independent, strong, intelligent friends that you have always said that you admire because of how we are "Strong" Girl, you have yourself surrounded by so many of us! What are you waiting for "Step Up" Enjoy who you are and please stop playing the "Victim" and start taking responsibility for WHO YOU ARE BEING! We are who we say we are and I can tell you that "I am a phenomenal woman that loves herself" and no one can take that from me. So Yo start with acknowledging who you are and CLAIM IT DAMN IT! Let this be the last conversation I have with you about this "I must have a man to complete me bullshit!"

caspar608 said...

You are not alone Yo-Yo. So many of my friends overlap relationships or take half a breath between moving on to the next. Sometimes, I wish I had as much experience. But I am the type of gal who wallows in her sorrow for a while and I could not move to the next fella looking down and blue : (. I stay true to my emotions because I am ok with being a loser sometimes. I am very picky also. I almost tricked myself last summer when I came across this adorable freckled face half boricua (who didn't speak a lick of espanol, go figure!) half black cutie at the gym who was in my face every single day from the time he first came to my face. For the first time in my life I was with someone who appeared to adore me and the kids. Then he started to get on my nerves, it started with little stuff like "can I borrow ten dollars, I forgot to stop at the ATM" Meanwhile, I was feeding him every single night. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him. I think I loved him to be honest with you. but then I realized how NEEDY he was. By his own admission, he always had a girlfriend (three babies mothers too I came to find out). That irked me. If I can be fine with myself and raise my three children dolo, why can't a man nadle his business. I enjoyed the time I spent with him, but I made the conscious decision to be alone - even though I missed him terribly - because I knew who I was and I didn't want to have to be a security blanket or ATM for anyone - except my babies. Cocoa is right - not even your friends and family love you unconditionally. Only God is capable of doing that. So, deep breaths, you will be okay if you are alone for a minute. You might find you have some standards while you are taking those breaths.

caspar608 said...

Cocoa, try some beano baby.
And what spanish restaurant did you guys go to?
All I know is, I wish I was at work today because I haven't installed my air conditioners yet and I am sweating my teta's off (did I spell that right?)

Cocoa Rican said...

Tetas = tities
Survey says!!!! That is correct Caspar. Come on now... you're my oldest friend, how can you get it wrong.

Anonymous said...

To Freaking Rican & Cocoa Rican

NOTE: I would love to join u all in your NYBB therefore, Note my available dates:

I am available:
- dinner friday 6/24/06
- dinner Sunday 6/26/05
- Friday, july 1st

let me know - YO

Cocoa Rican said...

By the way...
Freaking Rican is making the arrangements for DC 7/16-7/17
Remember, Watkins Park on 7/16; BBQ will feature our first BBC Gathering. Hope everyone makes it. Oh FR, I'm going to need my own room - wink, wink. Book both though and we need to contact Lady Long Legs - e-mail I forwarded to you - for documentation.'re a saint