Today we’re putting Yo-Yo On Blast with: What do u think determines a person success, self worth & sense of completion? Meaning I personally am noticing (& I know this maybe silly & at some level wrong, but nevertheless it's true for me that although I have unconditional love from my daughter & family there is still something missing where I don't feel complete unless I have (duh, what I think is love from a man). In other words I am discovering (and I don't like admitting it) that I don't feel complete, unless I have a man that loves me in my life. I feel alone, abandoned, unwanted and yet FOR THOSE THAT KNOW ME I AM TRULY BLESSED WITH MY DAUGHTER, FAMILY AND UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF GREAT FRIENDS I HAVE. YET TO BE HONEST TO MYSELF & PUT IT OUT THERE HONESTLY I STILL FEEL ALONE.
Well Yo, this subject is very relative. That is, an individual’s idea of success, self-worth and feeling that he/she is whole (or what you term, “sense of completion”) is affected by many different factors. One factor would be the nurture issue raised during yesterday’s On Blast confidence discussion. If you are raised to feel good about yourself, you will more-than-likely strive to reach levels of success that make you feel fulfilled and whole. From that point forward this issue gets a bit muddy because levels of success and a feeling of being complete change based on simple things like geography or culture. In one culture, merely finishing school and working a “decent” blue collar jobs that has benefits, can be considered an enormous accomplishment and a sign of success, while other cultures view higher education, white collar professional positions and material wealth as signs of success. Also, in the Latino culture, for example, women were taught that every “complete” woman has a man by her side. A woman is encouraged to meet her man and marry him before she is in her mid-thirties or she is labeled an old maid. While in White American culture women virtually reach 40 before considering marriage.
So here’s the skinny on this issue… recognize that you set the bar for how successful, fulfilled and complete you feel. Know that unless you are a conjoined twin sharing vital organs, you don’t NEED anyone to survive or be complete. Allow yourself to experience the highs-and-lows of life and stop using others as your personal Zoloft prescription – no one can make you feel great about you 24/7 – not even you! Unconditional love from family and friends – and excuse me, but I don’t believe human love is ever completely unconditional – still needs to be respected. Your family and friends aren’t the “but” and “yet” of all your “…TRULY BLESSED WITH MY DAUGHTER, FAMILY AND UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF GREAT FRIENDS I HAVE YET TO BE HONEST TO MYSELF…” Your family and friends are what’s good. They are what comforts you and supports you when you need someone there. Learn that your mate should always be the icing on the cake. They should make your life sweeter, but without the substance of a good cake, the icing would be just plain sugary gook that will eventually rot your teeth out – or in your case, rot your life!
Note to Freaking Rican: Please feel free to pick up where I left off honey.. I'm having contractions :)
Enough said… I mean, keep passin’ the open windows…
Sidebar: Cuca/Yo-Yo…no more Spanish food during lunch. This On Blast is late because I’ve been too busy sounding like I was playing the soundtrack to Drumline in the men’s room – sorry folks, I just had to keep it real!